Emily's neurology
My neurology
Me and my brain
I will write and rewrite this page. This is a very short first version, so that it is not sitting here empty. There is no back story in it, because that lives on the “Raising myself” page. Until early 2019, though, I carried an incorrect diagnosis of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Bipolar Disorder, on top of many other things I had been diagnosed with over the years.
Right now I am newly diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and for the first time I believe the diagnosis is right. I also self-identify as having a neurotype called Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), currently categorised as a condition within the autism spectrum. I had a strongly positive pre-screening for it, and I do not intend to take it further at the moment, because of the cost.
I am neurodivergent and I want you to understand it
I identify strongly with both of these neurological differences, and I do not doubt either of them. What I hate is the vocabulary: diagnoses, conditions, disorders, deficits, all those thoroughly negative words. My brain works differently. Sometimes it works better than most people's. Sometimes it means I struggle with things that are supposedly normal.
I dislike the names ADHD and PDA too, because I do not think they are accurate, helpful or descriptive. Not to mention that all the “conditions” which are neurodivergences overlap so heavily that the particular label you end up with often feels arbitrary. So below is a short list of my strengths and my support needs. I hope it is useful. In time I want to build an information bank on this site, so that people can understand each of these a little better.
Neurodivergent: novelty-autonomy neurotype
Psychological regulation
Autonomy
Pervasive drive:
- personal freedom
- self-determination
- agency
- accessibility
- equality
Extreme avoidance of:
- imposed demand
- expectations
- threat or punishment
- all extrinsic reward, praise included
- restrictions, rules and hierarchy
Novelty
Pervasive drive:
- new projects
- variety
- spontaneity
- learning
- exploration
Extreme avoidance of:
- planning
- routine
- monotony
Predictability brings out rigid, ritualistic behaviour in some areas, though I can manage unexpected change in most of life unless the activity is inherently anxiety-inducing. My pace and rhythm of life is either full speed, or stopped.
Protection
Recognition
Connection
Other forms of regulation
Physical
Digestive trouble when anxious. Problematic heart rate and blood pressure. An overactive immune system and autoimmune responses. Poor regulation of energy.
Emotional
Emotional hyper-arousal. Rejection sensitivity. A heightened threat response. Meltdowns mean crying; shutdown is the more common occurrence. Autistic burnout is very common.
Sensory
I seek continuous tactile stimulation, background music, and body-focused repetitive behaviour. I avoid several sounds arriving at once, particular tactile experiences, and certain kinds of artificial lighting.
Cognitive
- attention regulation: hyperfocus, and distraction
- social communication and behaviour
- executive function
- working memory deficit
- poor perception of time
- high-level categorisation
Strong positive traits
Tomlin is awesome at:
- leadership
- empathy
- understanding human behaviour
- holding space for other people
- imagination and internal role play
- a strong sense of justice
- problem solving
- determination
- thinking outside the box
Support needs
Tomlin needs support with:
- making sure tactile sensory stimulation is available
- avoiding some tactile experiences
- general sensory overwhelm
- extreme executive dysfunction
- extreme sensitivity to rejection and criticism
- creating a high-autonomy environment
- a varied, explorative role
- freedom to make decisions
- time and safe space to hide, rest and opt out