About Emily

Emily Wilding

Emily Wilding is a neurodivergent activist and educator

Tomlin is also…

A parenting ninja. A doula, by personality as much as by trade. A fiercely devoted mum, partner, sibling and friend. A Taekwondo black belt and coach. An entrepreneur. A prolific learner. A lover of tea, food, their seat, films, Mario Kart, and breaking silly rules.

Tomlin's education · Tomlin's neurology · Tomlin's story · Tomlin's businesses · Tomlin's family

The change-maker

I see my role in life as an educator. That means learning as much as I can about the things I care about, then putting that knowledge in front of other people in a way that supports their life and their own learning, and through them, society. I feel the same about parenting: that is the ultimate form of education. I am a guide, a knowledge base, a mentor, and hopefully someone who leaves people wanting to keep learning — as a parent, a writer, a speaker, a campaigner and an entrepreneur. Scroll and click below to see my roles and how they connect to the way I raise a generation.

Writer

My first career plan, at the age of three, was to be a fridge. Once that passed, I settled for a long time on becoming an author. As a young person I wrote rather abstract fiction, which I would still like to come back to one day.

Other things have caught my attention since, but the urge to write seems to be built in. The need to write, to hold a pen and get the random thoughts down, is strong enough that I cannot resist it. As it turns out, I have found an outlet in writing that educates and supports other people with what I know.

Entrepreneur

I started studying child development when I left school, and, intending one day to run an alternative school, I studied business at university. After that I spent seven years in HR in the NHS, supporting managers and medical staff. It offered neither the personal freedom I need nor enough direct contact with changing lives, so I left to study more, with the intention of doing something I loved. I studied organisational development, specialising in alternative business models, and then went back to child development.

My meandering path has led me to running several businesses that set out to change society, to educate people and to lift them up.

Speaker and educator

Anyone who has known me will confirm that I am a person who likes to talk. A lot. Which is why people find it hard to believe that I am either neurodivergent or socially anxious. I am both. It does not stop me speaking; if anything, it means I sometimes have no idea when to stop.

Speaking about the things I care about gives me enormous joy. I speak about childhood through CalmFamily, and going forward I will be using my own platform to talk about a wider range of change and to raise other people's voices. Online, and at events, workshops and conferences.

Activist

This is me with some of my many badass activist friends. Between them they make real change happen by educating parents, and themselves. These are only a few of them, and there are plenty more. We have a lot of work to do, and a lot to change, before this society works for our children.

We want to raise our voices and be heard in bigger rooms. I want to write and speak for the media, to influence government policy on education, children's rights, family support and healthcare, and to give something back to the community.

Mother and learner

Parenting creates social change whether you intend it or not. I choose to make sure the social change I create is the change I want. The only way to do that is to learn about yourself and understand yourself better. We have to heal our own childhoods to be our best selves for our children. I take that seriously.

I sometimes struggle with my gender identity. Not because I want to be male, but because I object strongly to the restrictions of gender identity altogether. That is probably part of what drove me towards equality work. In a slightly odd turn of events, though, I do strongly identify as a mum. In my work I almost always say “parents”, because “mother” can be situational and complicated for people, but I identify as both a co-parent and a mother: meeting other people's needs, holding space for their emotions, and nurturing who they are, without conditions.

More things about me

Taekwondo

I am a third dan black belt and a level 2 coach. I specialise in coaching people towards gradings, focusing on skills, understanding, self-esteem and mental resilience.

Spirituality

I study the secrets of the world in depth, but first and foremost I look inward and search for meaning in myself. Some people would call me an eclectic pagan. Some would say a witch.

Geek

My special interests sit in television and film, especially crime fighting and fantasy: Bones, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Marvel, and plenty more geeky treasures. I also really, really like tea.

My family

Why I changed my name

I did, more or less. I was named at birth Emily Claire Davison, after an aunt several generations back: Emily Wilding Davison, who died trying to win women the vote. I can only assume my parents were not brave enough to go the whole hog. I always detested my middle name and never felt it was me. In 2002 I changed my name to Emily Claire Fackrell, because I very much wanted to belong to my husband's family too, and I hesitated because I liked my connection to my namesake. I did not change my middle name, though I wanted to, because I thought people would think it was stupid. That middle name irritated me for as long as I can remember, and it was not until I really began to accept myself in 2018 that I decided to be who I am and changed it. In 2021, when I came out as non-binary, I changed my name officially to Tomlin Nemesis Wilding. That name means a great deal to me.