The ADHD tax is high

Being neurodivergent costs a lot of money, especially when it is the ADHD type. That probably sounds ridiculous, and it is entirely true. It can wreck you financially, and the worst part is that from the outside it looks so avoidable, which is why there is a shit ton of shame attached to it.

Why spend so much on lunches out and takeaways?

Why shop for a few days at a time when it obviously costs more?

Why didn't you take those clothes back? They don't even fit.

Why didn't you deal with this while it was still a small thing?

You could have ordered those months ago.

All you had to do was call and say you weren't coming.

If you just planned your meals, you could shop cheaply, you know.

On and on and on. I used to think: “God, I am such a shit adult, mother, employee, director, partner, human. Everyone around me deserves so much better. I fuck everything up and it costs us so much money. Why can't I just do what everyone else does?”

Now I know that I can't. It is not my fault that my brain cannot do things that way.

Do I stop trying? No.

Am I kinder to myself now when I fuck things up? Mostly. Have I accepted that this is how I am wired, that it costs a load of money, and that it simply is what it is? Yes.

The guilt I feel towards the people it affects is real. And the actual financial cost is high.